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ESTILL POLLOCK

My recent journal publications include Poetry Review, Tears in the Fence, 10th Muse, and Shearsman. My poetry collections include Constructing the Human (Salzburg 2001), Blood Motet and Fields and Standing Waves (Flarestack 2004), and the recent book cycle Blackwater Quartet (Kittiwake Editions 2005). Recent awards include the Bentley Editors Choice Award in the USA (Fine Madness), and the Poetry Book Society Award 2004 (Flarestack pamphlet Blood Motet). A new book, Relic Environments, is in preparation at Cinnamon Press for publication in 2006.

 

THE IDLER’S MISCELLANY

(after Catullus 1)

 

What was she to me

Gone now, taking sunny days with her

I should have seen it coming, moping here

And miserable

 

I realise now that I did all the running

She only joined the chase

Because she wanted to be caught

No more kisses for you, lady

I’ve got my head screwed-on

At last

 

She’s pretty enough, but I see now

A hard bitch in other ways

Thinking back on the good times

Everything seemed possible

 

I can still taste her mouth

 

Catullus

You’re an idiot

 

 

Here, Postumia, sit on my lap

And make the room stop spinning

 

This wine’s not so weak after all

And Bacchus knows

I like my Falernian straight off the vine

 

Where’s that waiter gone

 

Sit on my lap, Postumia

Sit on this

 

Fabullus, darling

Long time no see

 

I’d forgotten what a looker your wife is

 

By all means

Dinner, only I’m a little short on cash

So you bring the salt and wine

Something nice, a little entertainment

And I’ll recite the poems about True Love

I’ve been saving for a special occasion

 

Here, have a sniff of this

It’s new, the latest scent, Venus Herself

I think it’s called

 

One whiff and you’ll beg the gods

To transform you into One Big Nose

Even starting with a hooter

The size of yours

 

 

Speaking of noses, that girl’s

Is not the daintiest

And how can she get through the door

With those feet

 

Little piggy fingers

And

Her makeup’s awful

 

Can you believe she’s praised

for her grace and beauty

 

Ha

 

I hear Mamurra the bankrupt

Kept her in the provinces

Imagine, whoring for the likes of him

 

No standards anymore, that’s the trouble

 

 

Gellius, wise up, this guy’s a creep

Do you think it’s normal to mount your own mother

Or your sister

Your hand always working beneath your clothes

 

The farthest Tethys and the Oceans

The Nymph King himself

Imagine nothing lower

 

Nam nihil est quicquam sceleris, quo prodeat, ultra

 

His head tucked in his own crotch, sucking and sucking

 

 

My girl swears it’s me she’d marry

Even if Jupiter himself came courting

It’s me she’d choose

 

Still, she always talks that way

 

About everything

 

Arms waving, talking and talking

Even when we’re at it

 

Love, something written

On wind and water

 

 

Why do you make me love you

You make me crazy, how can I respect you

 

You act like such a slut

 

If this is going to work

We both need to be better people

 

You particularly

 

 

I’m torn up over you

How can you expect me to feel two things at once

And explain it all away

Like nothing happened

 

Love and hate

 

Two other words

 

 

I take her abuse

She works herself up into such a rage

 

Her husband regards the whole thing

As highly amusing

 

Shit for brains, if he knew what the rages meant

It wouldn’t seem so funny

 

She can’t forget me, can’t find the cure

Can’t find the silence

That says she’s over me

 

 

Even in public, such insults

 

The more she realises she still wants me

The more furious she gets

 

I’m the same

I never miss an opportunity

Dishing the dirt on her to anyone who’ll listen

 

It must be love

 

 

Don’t believe everything I say, Tappo

 

I’d dig out my own eyes before I’d think

Of hurting her, really hurting her

 

I was true, she more than cherished

We more than lovers, no others above her

 

It’s just that sometimes

Thinking about her, I can’t seem to help myself

 

 

Brother, I have come to your grave

In this far place

At the end of oceans

 

Here, to your ashes

My offering, a tribute our fathers would have known

 

How else to mark this grief

 

The last time I saw you

Neither of us thinking of tears

Or goodbyes

 

 

No other island or peninsula

Allowed by Neptune a place untroubled on the sea

Pleases me as much as you

Sirmione

 

Safe back from Thynia

And Bithynia, at last the journey to our own house

Ended, among our own gods

 

We deserve a rest, a couch

A lake to look upon  

 

A chance to laugh-off Asia Minor

 

 

 

 

1 Gaius Valerius Catullus, circa 84 BC – 54 BC; it is suggested that his great love, the ‘Lesbia’ of his poems, was probably Clodia Metelli, sister of the demagogue Publius Clodius Pulcher, and wife of Quintus Metellus Celer. He served in Bithynia in 57 BC, in the entourage of provincial governor Gaius Memmius. It is thought that while there he visited the grave of his elder brother, before returning to Italy the following year. He died in Rome.

 

 

copyright © Estill Pollock